Thursday, October 28, 2010
Vocabulary Lesson 6
This week, instead of writing individual sentences, you will write logical, cohesive, and interesting paragraphs. Each paragraph must contain four sentences, at least 3 lesson six vocabulary words, and a vocabulary word from a previous chapter. Please consider your conjunction usage in your paragraph's creation.
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My obdurate little brother elucidated that he was not going to eat his spinach. My brother at the table would always express his antipathy of spinach, each time it was put on the dinner table. Finally my mother was concerned for his heath and told a whit lie, explaining how he could die without eating spinach. The denouement of this spinach trouble was in the favor of my mother.
The immenent destruction of earth by the rapidly approaching asteroid. The In the panic of the upcoming destruction, banal folks turned into amoral animals. People were robbing grocery stores, trampiling their neighbors, and even had family members addmiting their antipathy for each other. In the midst of people being so busy with their panic, they didn't happen to listen to the news which stated the asteriod was a false alarm. When people began to settle down a onerous wave of guilt took over them when they began to look at what they had done.
The kids perused the directions a few times and still did not understand what the directions were asking for.This ws causing bedlam in the classroom.Their english teacher had to elucidate the directions of the assignment because they were ambiguous.The directions were worded differently;therefore they were not the banal directions that are usually given.
Mike is a banal man living in an ordinary town in an ordinary house. Although his town was ordinary he has a neighbor that causes sheer bedlam every night. This caused mike to acquire an antipathy toward his neighbor. Mike tells everyone about his hatred toward his neighbor that shows no altruism for anyone but himself.
Mike is a banal man living in an ordinary town in an ordinary house. Although his town was ordinary he has a neighbor that causes sheer bedlam every night. This caused mike to acquire an antipathy toward his neighbor. Mike tells everyone about his hatred toward his neighbor that shows no altruism for anyone but himself.
Taylor,
You have alot of repitive detail here. Can you be more concise??? Perhaps move some detail around to make it more logical. Watch spelling too.
My obdurate little brother elucidated that he was not going to eat his spinach. My brother at the table would always express his antipathy of spinach, each time it was put on the dinner table. Finally my mother was concerned for his heath and told a whit lie, explaining how he could die without eating spinach. The denouement of this spinach trouble was in the favor of my mother.
The office manager was very obdurate. He had no tolerance for any bedlam in the office under his watch. He ecpected his workers to be sedulous at all times, however his version of hard working was being married to the job with no social life. That's why everyone was suprised when he ebullient when it was annocced that he one of his best workes was getting married. This meaning that she would be away from the office more now.
Ian,
The immenent destruction of earth by the rapidly approaching asteroid (fragment). The In (HUH?)the panic of the upcoming destruction, banal folks turned into amoral animals.
Need parallel structure in next sentence. http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/623/01/
People were robbing grocery stores, trampiling their neighbors, and even had family members addmiting their antipathy for each other.
In the midst of people being so busy with their panic, they didn't happen to listen to the news which stated the asteriod was a false alarm. When people began to settle down a onerous wave of guilt took over them when they began to look at what they had done.
In the cafeteria there was bedlam going on.Kids were shouting scurrilous remarks at eachother.The principal came in to recify the situation.The prinicpal punished the children for fighting, so they had to listen to a lecture about their amoral behaviors.
In the cafeteria there was bedlam going on.Kids were shouting scurrilous remarks at eachother.The principal came in to recify the situation.The prinicpal punished the children for fighting, so they had to listen to a lecture about their amoral behaviors.
Ryan,
See what I moved around. Why do you think I switched those details?
Mike is a banal man living in an ordinary house in an ordinary town .
Although his town was ordinary he has a neighbor that causes sheer bedlam every night.(HOW?)(Can you koin previous sentence to this one. It is same similar idea..) This caused mike to acquire an antipathy toward his neighbor. Mike tells everyone about his hatred toward his neighbor that shows no altruism for anyone but himself.
The new movie that came out is a parody of many other movies tha tcame out in 2010. This movie, however is not for young children because of the scurrilous language that is said constatly throughout the two hours. This movie is not sad or onerous at all. If you are in a rakish mood, you would really enjoy watching the comedy.
Mark had and antipathy for Susan after she said harsh words about his family. Susan tried to elucidate what she said to Mark and apologize for the way it sounded but mark was unforgiving. Mark became obdurate toward Susan, he would walk past her without even the slightest of a glance in her direction, Susan was becoming more and more upset and wished she could take back what she said. Finally on Thursday afternoon Susan built up the courage to approach Mark about there little dispute, but when she started to speak he screamed at her to go away and she got mad at this and a bedlam broke out between the two. Once they both settled down Susan got the chance to rectify her prier actions and Mark apologized for screaming and before they knew it they were friends again.
Stefi,
Repetitive details throughout.Be more preise. Consider order you present details.
(Provide context in parapgraph in first sentnce. where are kids?)The kids perused the directions a few times and still did not understand what the directions were asking for.This was causing bedlam in the classroom.Their english teacher had to elucidate the directions of the assignment because they were ambiguous.The directions were worded differently;therefore they were not the banal directions that are usually given.
The sedulous man had an onerous task up ahead of writing an article about a recent disaster that had just passed. Despite the disagreements between the employees and himself, he was fervent to finish the task. In the end he was incapable of finishing the seemingly banal task and in the end it received negative reviews and was considered a bad denouement by everyone.
*The imminent destruction of earth by the rapidly approaching asteroid horrified people listening into the news.
John, a very prestigious chemist, took his time when reading the labels of the numerous chemicals he had in his possession. However, one day while he was in a rush,he did'nt peruse the few bottles that he had taken out to use in his next experiment.The chemicals he had choosen would cause imminent danger if they were to be mixed. When he mixed the few chemicals, th reaction was a cataclysm. The laboratory soon became a bedlam, John however stood transfixed on his work station unable to believe what he had just done.
Stefi,
Repetitive. Can join sentnces together to prevent that. Try it.
In the cafeteria there was bedlam going on.Kids were shouting scurrilous remarks at each other.The principal came in to recify the situation.The prinicpal punished the children for fighting, so they had to listen to a lecture about their amoral behaviors.
Katie,
The office manager was very obdurate. He had no tolerance for any bedlam in the office under his watch. He expected his workers to be sedulous at all times; however, his version of hard working was being married to the job with no social life.
Huh: rework for clearer meaning. That's why everyone was suprised when he ebullient when it was annocced that he one of his best workes was getting married. This meaning that she would be away from the office more now.
Ryan is very lucky to inherit affluence from his rich father. His father was the owner of a big business and was a very sedulous man. His death was due to cancer that had besieged his entire body. Although Ryan is inheriting a great deal of money from his father it was a very onerous death for him.
The sedulous girl was teased often because of the fact that she always had her head in a book. The affluence children in the class decided to cause a scene during class and call the girl out. The girl tried to eschew them, but she was impotent. The teacher finally stepped in though and elucidated that there was to be done of that nonsense here. The girl felt relief and went on with her day.
*In the panic of the upcoming destruction, banal folks turned into immoral animals.
Kate,
Details make for clearer meaning. Give a movie name!
The new movie that came out is a parody of many other movies tha tcame out in 2010.
This movie, however, is not for young children because of the scurrilous language that is said constatly throughout the two hours.(WHAT IS CONNETION BETWEEN EACH DESCRIPTION OF MOVIE??)This movie is not sad or onerous at all. If you are in a rakish mood, you would really enjoy watching the comedy.
The obdurate father refused to believe what he heard on the television once he had turned it on in the moning, plopping himself on his armchair with a glass of milk in one hand and a bagel in the other. He starred stubbornly as the announcer on screen spoke of the tornado on its way. The father would not believe it, everytime they said something like this was coming it never seemed to actually happen. While his antipathy of lying news casters was growing, his family broke out in bedlam. His wife came running downstairs, her mind like a maelstrom, screaming to grab the kids and evacuate while they could. While she importuned him to leave, his two young kids came runing downstairs, their usual sanguine faces besmirched with tears as they asked what was going on, scared of the imminent danger still to come. The father, seeig as his family was this worried, agreed to leave the house. As it turned out, the tornado did come but luckily the family had gotten out in time.
Emily,
Good. Made some edits. View them.
Mark had an antipathy for Susan after she said harsh words about his family. Susan tried to elucidate what she said to Mark and apologize for the way it sounded but Mark was unforgiving. Mark became obdurate toward Susan; he would walk past her without even the slightest of a glance in her direction. Susan was becoming more and more upset and wished she could take back what she said. Finally on Thursday afternoon Susan built up the courage to approach Mark again about there little dispute, but when she started to speak he screamed at her to go away and she got mad at this and bedlam broke out between the two. Once they both settled down Susan got the chance to rectify her prier actions and Mark apologized for screaming and before they knew it they were friends again.
John Smith,an author,had an antipathy towards old Shakespeare; therefore John made a parody of old Shakespeare novels.John included a lot of facetious comments in his version of the novel.His version had a completely different denouement than the original version because John felt that the other denouement was boring.
Stephanie,
The sedulous man had an onerous task up ahead of writing an article about a recent disaster that had just passed. (DETAILS MATTER. WHAT IS DISASTER?) Despite the disagreements (WHAT IS DISAGREEMENT?) between the employees and himself, he was fervent to finish the task. In the end he was incapable of finishing (WHY?) the seemingly banal task and in the end it received negative reviews and was considered a bad denouement by everyone.
The up and coming stage group decided that for their first play they should do a parody of Romeo and Juliet by Shakespeare. While the idea was good on paper, it turned out to be a mess. The plot was completely altered, the jokes made were scurrilous, and the acting was terrible. Critics and patrons of the play were so enraged that they were rallied into a bedlam, eventually storming the stage and throwing the actors off.
The new parody that was to be the schools play was considered extremely scurrilous by the children's parents. The schools auditorium was bedlam as all the parents yelled over one another to try and get there say in to the stop of the play. One parent screamed out that the play was far too erotic and that it should not be played out, while other parents seemed the antithesis of them. They called out that it was perfectly fine and that their children should be allowed to continue the production. The obdurate drama teacher refused to change the play and ended the meeting there.
The government has made it quite elucidate to the American people that some people around the world have antipathy for this country. That is why the CIA and FBI are always working to stop imminent treats against our people. At this time in all of our lives it is imperative that we have these agenies to protect us from anymore trajeties, like 9-11. Many different people around the worls are saistic and would like to see more of these attacks.
Jamie,
Good. Made some puncuation edits. View below.
John, a very prestigious chemist, took his time when reading the labels of the numerous chemicals he had in his possession. However, one day while he was in a rush,he didn't peruse the few bottles that he had taken out to use in his next experiment.The chemicals he had choosen would cause imminent danger if they were to be mixed. When he mixed the few chemicals, the reaction was a cataclysm. The laboratory soon became a bedlam; John however stood transfixed on his work station unable to believe what he had just done.
Ian,
Great!
*The imminent destruction of earth by the rapidly approaching asteroid horrified people listening into the news.
Ryan,
Illogical almost. You say Ryan is lucky in the beginning of paragrpah but then prove he is unlucky by end because of dad's death. Make clearer.
Ryan is very lucky to inherit affluence from his rich father. His father was the owner of a big business and was a very sedulous man. His death was due to cancer that had besieged his entire body. Although Ryan is inheriting a great deal of money from his father it was a very onerous death for him.
Ryan,
Illogical almost. You say Ryan is lucky in the beginning of paragrpah but then prove he is unlucky by end because of dad's death. Make clearer.
Ryan is very lucky to inherit affluence from his rich father. His father was the owner of a big business and was a very sedulous man. His death was due to cancer that had besieged his entire body. Although Ryan is inheriting a great deal of money from his father it was a very onerous death for him.
On Elm street, the last house on the left was to be avoided at all costs. The people that lived there were anything but banel. The mother was an erotic dancer, the father was a scurrilous man, and the children were amoral. The denouemnt of their demeanor caused the neighborhood to eschew them.
*In the cafeteria,kids were shouting scurrilous remarks at eachother causing bedlam.The kids had an antipathy towards eachother.The prinicpal wanted to rectify the situation;therefore he eschewed the kids from one another.The princiapl also lectured the kids on how amoral their behaviors were.
*The sedulous man had an onerous task up ahead of writing an article of a recent disaster, a fire that ran through an entire factory where many were injured and few had died. Despite the disagreements of people saying the article would be far to upsetting to most readers, he was fervent to finish the task. In the end he was incapable of finishing the seemingly banal task, because he found it to be to emotional and could not bring himself to describe the scene. In the end it received negative reviews and was considered a bad denouement by everyone.
Dan was in the middle of a Parody of his history teacher when he walked in. Dan was usually a sedulous student but Mr. Clayton was driving him crazy with all the homework he gave out. Mr. Clayton though Dan was an onerous kid so he already didn’t like him and would try to eschew him. Mr. Clayton talked to Dan after class and he told him he had obloquy for Dan’s actions and he has detention on Wednesday as a punishment for what he did.
The amoral child was kicked out of school for his scurrilous behavior. It wasn't necessarily the child’s fault it was just that he never was set any rules, or boundaries. The ones to blame were the impotent parents. They let the boy do whatever he pleased, just to get him off there back. The neglect from his parents caused the boy to lash out. This resulted in the boy being expelled.
Sam,
See how I moved the detail next to the thing it is modifying:
The obdurate father, plopping himself on his armchair with a glass of milk in one hand and a bagel in the other, refused to believe what he heard on the television once he had turned it on in the moning.
Great!
He starred stubbornly as the announcer on screen spoke of the tornado on its way. The father would not believe it; everytime they said something like this was coming it never seemed to actually happen. While his antipathy of lying news casters was growing, his family broke out in bedlam. His wife came running downstairs, her mind like a maelstrom, screaming to grab the kids and evacuate while they could. While she importuned him to leave, his two young kids came running downstairs, their usual sanguine faces besmirched with tears as they asked what was going on, scared of the imminent danger still to come. The father, seeig as his family was this worried, agreed to leave the house. As it turned out, the tornado did come but luckily the family had gotten out in time.
My younger sibilings, who were all amoral, drew all over my bedroom walls with markers. I knew this was imminent because of the five children under the age of 6 in my house. I wanted the denouement of a punishment for all of them but mymother says they are too young to punish. God bless my effete mother that must put up with the children all day every day.
Steph,
The sedulous man had an onerous task up ahead of writing an article about a recent disaster that had just passed. Despite the disagreements between the employees and himself, he was fervent to finish the task. In the end he was incapable of finishing the seemingly banal task because..... it received negative reviews and was considered a bad denouement by everyone.
The office manager was very obdurate. He had no tolerance for any bedlam in the office under his careful watch. He expected his workers to be sedulous at all times; however, his version of hard working was being married to the job with no social life. That's why everyone was suprised when he was ebullient when it was annocced that he one of his best workes was getting married. Because of the impending wedding she would be taken away from the office more and more for wedding preparations.
Emily,
Reowrk order of details to make more logical sense. Maybe provide the background of relationship first, then present what happened because of the culmination of those feelings.
Dan was in the middle of a parody of his history teacher when he walked in. Dan was usually a sedulous student but Mr. Clayton was driving him crazy with all the homework he gave out. Mr. Clayton though Dan was an onerous kid so he already didn’t like him and would try to eschew him. Mr. Clayton talked to Dan after class and he told him he had obloquy for Dan’s actions and he has detention on Wednesday as a punishment for what he did.
Ryan,
Small edits. See below.
My younger sibilings, who were all amoral, drew all over my bedroom walls with markers. I knew this was imminent because of there are five children under the age of 6 in my house. I wanted for a denouement to their actions a punishment for all of them but my mother says they are too young to punish. God bless my effete mother that must put up with the children all day every day.
My obdurate little brother elucidated that he was not going to eat his spinach. My brother at the table would always express his antipathy of spinach, each time it was put on the dinner table. Finally my mother was concerned for his heath and told a whit lie, explaining how he could die without eating spinach. The denouement of this spinach trouble was in the favor of my mother.
My obdurate little brother elucidated that he was not going to eat his spinach. Each time it was put on the dinner table he would express his antipathy for it. My mother became concerned for his health. So she told a white lie telling how he could die without it. The denouement of this spinach trouble was in my mothers favor.
The denouement of Jen stealing from the super market was 6 weeks of community service. Jen has always been a bit amoral and she never really followed the rules. She was always a banal child, never really stood out so some people believe she does these things for attention other think it’s because children are impotent and this gives her a sense of power. Jen tries to hide her wrong doings from her parents but they find out one way or another once it was while her father was perusing the morning paper, Jen was one of the headlines.
Kate,
Great paragraph. Spelling issues. Fix.
The government elucidate (verb) to the American people that some people around the world have antipathy for this country. That is why the CIA and FBI are always working to stop imminent threats against our people. At this time in all of our lives it is imperative that we have these agenies to protect us from anymore trajeties (MISPELLED), like 9-11. Many different people around the worls? are saistic? and would like to see more of these attacks.
A very sedulous therapist, named Stefi had come across a very obdurate case. An affluence man named Cody had paid Stefi millions of dollars to find out why he was'nt sleeping at night. When Stefi tried to elucidate why he wasnt sleeping, cody just eschewed her. He didnt have any deference for her.Stefi decided to drop the case.
Mr. Grasso, a tenth gade history teacher, stood in front of his sixth period class trying to eludicate the point he had just made about America during the Revolutionary War. Seeing as the class had been a bedlam ever since they had started the topic, Mr. Grasso had spent two extra days just recapitulating the chapter while trying to explain things as thorough as possible. He urged his class to preuse the chapter every night in order to study for their upcoming test, but it seemed as though the class's feeling of antipathy for his class had grown so much over the past week that they would not do so. The denouement of such actions would not be so pretty, if they did not read and fail then they would become even more obdurate.
Tom, who had just taken a job at a retirement home, was finding his job was much more difficult then he thought. The older men an women were stuck in their ways. They didn't like modern medicence, so when Tom always had to give them certian mdeicine, they were obdurate and refused. Whenever Tom tried talking to them they would ask him to elucidate many times since they were hard of hearing. Tom wold stay sedulous while working there, but he didn't know how much longer he would last.
Taylor,
The amoral child was kicked out of school for his scurrilous behavior. It wasn't necessarily the child’s fault; (Rework this sentence for clearer meaning) it was just that he never was set any rules, or boundaries.
The ones to blame were the impotent parents. They let the boy do whatever he pleased, just to get him off there back. The neglect from his parents caused the boy to lash out (HOW. WHAT DID HE DO TO BE EXPELLED?). This resulted in the boy being expelled.
GREAT!!!!!
*The sedulous man had an onerous task up ahead of writing an article of a recent disaster, a fire that ran through an entire factory where many were injured and few had died. Despite the disagreements of people saying the article would be far to upsetting to most readers, he was fervent to finish the task. In the end he was incapable of finishing the seemingly banal task, because he found it to be to emotional and could not bring himself to describe the scene. In the end it received negative reviews and was considered a bad denouement by everyone.
Ian,
Good.
The up and coming stage group decided that for their first play they should do a parody of Romeo and Juliet by Shakespeare. While the idea was good on paper, it turned out to be a mess. The plot was completely altered, the jokes made were scurrilous, and the acting was terrible. Critics and patrons of the play were so enraged that they were rallied into a bedlam, eventually storming the stage and throwing the actors off.
Taylor,
Good.
The sedulous girl was teased often because of the fact that she always had her head in a book. The affluence children in the class decided to cause a scene during class and call the girl out. The girl tried to eschew them, but she was impotent. The teacher finally stepped in though and elucidated that there was to be none of that nonsense here. The girl felt relief and went on with her day.
Jamie,
On Elm street, the last house on the left was to be avoided at all costs. The people that lived there were anything but banel. The mother was an erotic dancer, the father was a scurrilous man, and the children were amoral.
This sentence does not make complete sense. Rework. The denouemnt of their demeanor caused the neighborhood to eschew them.
Kate,
The office manager was very obdurate. He had no tolerance for any bedlam in the office under his careful watch. He expected his workers to be sedulous at all times; however, his version of hard working was being married to the job with no social life. That's why everyone was suprised when he was ebullient when it was annocced (misspelled) that one of his best workes was getting married. Because of the impending wedding she would be taken away from the office more and more for wedding preparations.
Jamie,
See below:
A very sedulous therapist named Stefi had come across a very obdurate case. An affluence man named Cody had paid Stefi millions of dollars to find out why he wasn't sleeping at night. When Stefi tried to elucidate why he wasnt sleeping, cody just eschewed her. He didnt have any deference for her (WHY? He is paying mi8llions for her? Explain this to make complete sense).Stefi decided to drop the case.
Sam,
Great. One edit. See below.
Mr. Grasso, a tenth gade history teacher, stood in front of his sixth period class trying to eludicate the point he had just made about America during the Revolutionary War. Seeing as the class had been a bedlam ever since they had started the topic, Mr. Grasso had spent two extra days just recapitulating the chapter while trying to explain things as thorough as possible. He urged his class to preuse the chapter every night in order to study for their upcoming test, but it seemed as though the class's feeling of antipathy for his class had grown so much over the past week that they would not do so. The denouement of such actions would not be so pretty: if they did not read and fail then they would become even more obdurate.
Ian,
Great.
Tom, who had just taken a job at a retirement home, was finding his job was much more difficult then he thought. The older men an women were stuck in their ways. They didn't like modern medicence, so when Tom always had to give them certian mdeicine, they were obdurate and refused. Whenever Tom tried talking to them they would ask him to elucidate many times since they were hard of hearing. Tom wold stay sedulous while working there, but he didn't know how much longer he would last.
The man perused the book stacks for a novel to read. It seemd as though it was a banal day, however a lack of peace was imminent.A few moments later, foppish man walked in in the most rediculous outfit. It caused quite a bedlam as children giggled and pointed, disrupting the quiet library.
Carrie had a great antipathy for English class since she cannot elucidate her thoughts very well. Her marking period grade was imminent to be a C, and when she could rewrite her essays she was very obdurate, unwilling to peruse the whole piece of writing over and over again. Although she wasn't so sedulous, she tried to be ebullient about improving her grade.
Bret perused the book that he had antipathy for because without reading it slowly he would loose focus and have to read it over again. He had a bedlam to his mother when he elucidated the hatred he had for this book. Throughout the days of him reading this book he decided to make a parody of it for future readers that hated it as much as he did.
Amelia,
What is the connection between each sentences in this paragraph? How are ideas connected? Rework to make logical sense.
The man perused the book stacks for a novel to read. It seemd as though it was a banal day, however a lack of peace was imminent.A few moments later, foppish man walked in in the most rediculous outfit. It caused quite a bedlam as children giggled and pointed, disrupting the quiet library.
Cara,
I moved one detail for more logical sense. See below. Additionally, needs one revision. See below.
Carrie had a great antipathy for English class since she cannot elucidate her thoughts very well. When she could rewrite her essays she was very obdurate, unwilling to peruse the whole piece of writing over and over again. Although she wasn't so sedulous, she tried to be ebullient about improving her grade. (BUT YOU SAY SHE WOULD NOT WORK TO CHANGE GRADE. REWORK TO MAKE MORE SENSE.)Her marking period grade was imminent to be a C.
My antipathy for my neighbor slowly grew as he planted more and more hideous lawn gnomes out front of his home. I tried to elucidate how much I disliked the offensive baubles, but he never listened. So, when dealing with the hideous sight finally became too onerous, instead of trying to echew the decorations, I stole them and threw them away.
Cara,
I moved one detail for more logical sense. See below. Additionally, needs one revision. See below.
Carrie had a great antipathy for English class since she cannot elucidate her thoughts very well. When she could rewrite her essays she was very obdurate, unwilling to peruse the whole piece of writing over and over again. Although she wasn't so sedulous, she tried to be ebullient about improving her grade. (BUT YOU SAY SHE WOULD NOT WORK TO CHANGE GRADE. REWORK TO MAKE MORE SENSE.)Her marking period grade was imminent to be a C.
I could see her across the library from where I was sitting. She was perusing the fiction section sedulously, occasionally pulling out a book to read the back cover synopsis. There was something strange about seeing her like this and though the situation was quite banal, it seemed to capture my attention quite thoroughly. She held the same notebook I had seen her with in class, the one with the ornate, somewhat baroque designed embossed into the cover. It was pressed to her chest as if she feared it might run away and I had to wonder what exactly was in there that she had deemed so sacrosanct.
Ruoff,
Made some revisions and you will have to also. See below.
Bret perused the book that he had antipathy for because without reading it slowly he would loose focus and have to read it over again. Bedlam errupted when he elucidated the hatred he had for this book to his mother. (MAKE CONNECTION BETWEN PREVIOUS SENTENCE AND NEXT ONE.) Throughout the days of him reading this book he decided to make a parody of it for future readers that hated it as much as he did.
Unlike some, Sarah was not afraid to elucidate the antipathy she felt for Joanna. Joanna and Sarah had been best friends at one time, but there friendship ended when Joanna dated Joe, Sarah’s ex-boyfriend. While still friends, Sarah thought this betrayal was imminent because Joanna began flirting while around Joe. This was completely banal behavior for Joanna, because she had done the same thing to her friend Melanie.
Amelia,
Great!
My antipathy for my neighbor slowly grew as he planted more and more hideous lawn gnomes out front of his home. I tried to elucidate how much I disliked the offensive baubles, but he never listened. So, when dealing with the hideous sight finally became too onerous, instead of trying to echew the decorations, I stole them and threw them away.
Delilah was not very ebullient that her family had to move and she had to attend a new school her senior year. She tried to have deference for that fact that they had no choice of moving because her father would loose his job without moving. She was extremely nebulous on how hard her new school would be considering it was a private school. Many of the students were pedantic unlike her former classmates who never bragged when they got an A on a test. She was more of a rakish person rather then a competitive one. She wanted to move back to her old town badly.
The man perused the book stacks of the library for a novel to read. It seemed as though it was going to be a banal, calm day; however a lack of peace was imminent. This loss of calm was caused a few moments later,when a foppish man walked in in the most rediculous outfit. It caused quite a bedlam as children giggled and pointed, disrupting the quiet library.
As Mike Lowrey was left with an affluence from his parents, he was set for life, with the trust-fund he became a fob. However he still worked as an Miami detective. His partner, Marcus Burnett, was an obdurate man. Captain Howard elucidated that they needed to get the drugs back very soon.
Grace,
Great!!!
I could see her across the library from where I was sitting. She was perusing the fiction section sedulously, occasionally pulling out a book to read the back cover synopsis. There was something strange about seeing her like this and though the situation was quite banal, it seemed to capture my attention quite thoroughly. She held the same notebook I had seen her with in class, the one with the ornate, somewhat baroque designed embossed into the cover. It was pressed to her chest as if she feared it might run away and I had to wonder what exactly was in there that she had deemed so sacrosanct.
Jason was very ebullient about school. He was sedulous and liked to peruse his books. He elucidated anything that didn’t make sense to him. He always made emendations to his writing to make it better.
Maria,
Great!!!
Unlike some, Sarah was not afraid to elucidate the antipathy she felt for Joanna. Joanna and Sarah had been best friends at one time, but there friendship ended when Joanna dated Joe, Sarah’s ex-boyfriend. While still friends, Sarah thought this betrayal was imminent because Joanna began flirting while around Joe. This was completely banal behavior for Joanna, because she had done the same thing to her friend Melanie.
CORRECTED SENTENCE 1: Bret perused the book that he had antipathy for because without reading it slowly he would loose focus and have to read it over again. Bedlam errupted when he elucidated the hatred he had for this book to his mother. He decided to take all of this anger and write a parody of it for future readers that hated it as much as he did.
Ruoff,
Good. Made one revision. See below.
Delilah was not very ebullient that her family had to move and she had to attend a new school her senior year. She tried to have deference for that fact that they had no choice of moving because her father would loose his job without moving. She only had a nebulous idea about how hard her new school would be considering it was a private school. Many of the students were pedantic unlike her former classmates who never bragged when they got an A on a test. She was more of a rakish person rather then a competitive one. She wanted to move back to her old town badly.
Mr. Smith was a sedulous teacher however he let his classroom break into bedlam everyday and didn’t think anything of it. The teachers next to his classroom didn’t appreciate the noise and figured he lacked deference to them. Mr. Smith was imminent to getting fired if the teachers reported him again, so he elucidated that he would keep his classes quiet from now on.
The two brothers had much antipathy for each other . The older of the two knew a confrontation was imminent because he wasn't getting any attention from his parents like his younger brother was receiving. So, the amoral brother decided to kill the younger one, and got away with it.
He even said an elegy at the funeral, for his parents had no idea he was the murderer.
Mark, being the sadistic kid he was, caused a huge bedlam when he took his brother's last cookie. He had an antipathy for his little brother because his brother always got his way. His amoral decision caused a bad denouement. Mark now had to eschew from the cookie jar at all times. Even though Mark had just been yelled at, he still glowered at his younger brother.
The amoral man made many boorish comments to the host of the party. Just when it seemed as if he would stop, he decided to elucidate just how much he disliked the soup being served. The obdurate host refused to acknowledge the comments. She was sedulous in her task of keeping a smile on her face and serving everyone cheerfully.
Tom was an amoral and he was always doing whatever he wanted not what needed to happen and the whole office tried to eschew from him by not telling him about meetings and when everyone would go out. One night while the office was out after work Tom walked in and sat down and everyone just tried to ignore him but it was too onerous to be there with him. One of the sedulous workers that always had to stay late to make up for the work Tom didn’t do ebulliently said to Tom “it’s imminent that your going to be fired so why don’t you just leave us alone and go home.” But Tom was too obdurate to leave so he just sat at the bar alone and tried to do parodies of the women that embarrassed him.
Zach,
Idea are jumbling together. Lost of ideas that don't all make sense togther. How is the fact that Mike became rich connected to Captain Howard? Rework to make logical sense.
As Mike Lowrey was left with an affluence from his parents, he was set for life. With the trust-fund he became a fop. However he still worked as an Miami detective. His partner, Marcus Burnett, was an obdurate man. Captain Howard elucidated that they needed to get the drugs back very soon.
Amelia,
Great! Just remember comma after subordinating conjunctions joing to clauses together.
The man perused the book stacks of the library for a novel to read. It seemed as though it was going to be a banal, calm day; however, a lack of peace was imminent. This loss of calm was caused a few moments later,when a foppish man walked in in the most rediculous outfit. It caused quite a bedlam as children giggled and pointed, disrupting the quiet library.
Rocky, a young and extremely obdurate foal, was perused by Lisa. Lisa was the trainer who enjoyed the affluence that came when her horses won competitions. She wondered if Rocky had the potential to live up to the panegyric of his father, Gary.
1. I felt a great sense of antipathy toward the famous actor. He was an amoral man with no altruism for others and; he had two children from a previous marriage that he paid no attention to. He was scurrilous toward all the people that worked for him, and it was shameful that someone like him should have so much affluence.
2. The film was a parody of a motley group of horrible horror movies. It elucidated the mediocre plotlines of the original films, and the screenwriter did a sedulous job of trying to make the audience laugh. An especially funny part was when the witch placed a ridiculous imprecation on one of the characters. It certainly was no banal comedy.
3. My uncle is a non sequitur. He appears to be a fop, but on closer inspection you realize that what he wears isn’t rakish or fashionable at all. His outfits are a debacle.
aa
"This weekend you guys need to peruse and outline chapter 28," my history teacher said as the bell rang and everyone gathered up their books to leave. Everyone in my class started complaining causing a bedlam as we all entered the hallway to proceed to our lockers. No one wanted to have homework over the four day weeekend but it was imminent because our history teacher never gave anyone a break. He was a boor that never took into consideration the feelings of the students.
Julia,
Jason was very ebullient about school. He was sedulous and liked to peruse his books. He elucidated anything that didn’t make sense to him. (HOW CAN HE MAKE SOMETHING CLEAR WHEN HE DOESN"T UNDERSTAND IT?) He always made emendations to his writing to make it better.
The teacher tried to elucidate her side of the story to the childs parents but they were amoral. They did not believe their son had used scurrilous language,and they felt it was imperative that the teacher apologize for giving him detention. The teacher tried to eschew from getting the parents too angry so she also added that even though he is obdurate, he is also very sedulous. Despite the teachers effort to make the parents understand they began yelling, turning the classroom into complete bedlam.
Ruoff,
Good!
CORRECTED SENTENCE 1: Bret perused the book that he had antipathy for because without reading it slowly he would loose focus and have to read it over again. Bedlam errupted when he elucidated the hatred he had for this book to his mother. He decided to take all of this anger and write a parody of it for future readers that hated it as much as he did.
As i tried to elucidate what i was doing this weekend to my mother, she seemed to have an antipathy of my plans. She thought it was very imminent that i was going to get in trouble or do something stupid, event though i am very responsible. My mother always acts like i am very amoral when i never did anything wrong. The denouement of this conversation was that i was not allowed to go to prom weekend and i had to sleep at my grandparents so my mom knew i was safe.
Samantha,
Good!
Mr. Smith was a sedulous teacher; however, he let his classroom break into bedlam everyday and didn’t think anything of it. The teachers next to his classroom didn’t appreciate the noise and figured he lacked deference to them. Mr. Smith was imminent to getting fired if the teachers reported him again, so he elucidated that he would keep his classes quiet from now on.
As i tried to elucidate what i was doing this weekend to my mother, she seemed to have an antipathy of my plans. She thought it was very imminent that i was going to get in trouble or do something stupid, event though i am very responsible. My mother always acts like i am very amoral when i never did anything wrong. The denouement of this conversation was that i was not allowed to go to prom weekend and i had to sleep at my grandparents so my mom knew i was safe.
George,
Great!
The two brothers had much antipathy for each other . The older of the two knew a confrontation was imminent because he wasn't getting any attention from his parents like his younger brother was receiving. So, the amoral brother decided to kill the younger one, and got away with it.
He even said an elegy at the funeral, for his parents had no idea he was the murderer.
1. I felt a great sense of antipathy toward the famous actor. He was an amoral man with no altruism for others and; he had two children from a previous marriage that he paid no attention to. He was scurrilous toward all the people that worked for him, and it was shameful that someone like him should have so much affluence. The demise of his career was imminent due to his blatant lack of respect.
2. The film was a parody of a motley group of horrible horror movies. It elucidated the mediocre plotlines of the original films, and the screenwriter did a sedulous job of trying to make the audience laugh. An especially funny part was when the witch placed a ridiculous imprecation on one of the characters. It certainly was no banal comedy.
3. My uncle is a non sequitur. He appears to be a fop, but on closer inspection you realize that what he wears isn’t rakish or fashionable at all. His outfits are a debacle. His house also reflects his style by being baroque.
sorry, Ms. Rotter, my first paragraphs didn't have enough scentences.
The denouement of the tally was dissapointing to the baseball fans. Their team had been beaten and it was their onerous duty to go congratulate the winning team. They echewed meeting their eyes as the shook their hands and muttered their congratulations. Their demeanor reeked of dissapointment the whole time.
Cara,
Watch wordiness. See below.
Mark, being sadistic kid, caused bedlam when he took his brother's last cookie. He had an antipathy for his little brother because his brother always got in his way. His amoral decision caused a bad denouement. Mark now had to eschew from the cookie jar at all times. Even though Mark had just been yelled at, he still glowered at his younger brother.
I pondered whether to go talk to her, say hi or something, but we never really talked in school. Really, I doubted she even knew who I was, and I wasn’t all that keen on becoming some parody for her to have a laugh over with her friends later. But it was evident that eventually she’d see me, and most likely recognize me and say something. It was imminent that she’d say something whether I approached her or not. So I was in a quandary, what would I say if she said something to me? And the only denouement I could see occurring if I didn’t leave and avoid the situation ended with me in total chagrin.
Amelia,
Good!
The amoral man made many boorish comments to the host of the party. Just when it seemed as if he would stop, he decided to elucidate just how much he disliked the soup being served. The obdurate host refused to acknowledge the comments. She was sedulous in her task of keeping a smile on her face and serving everyone cheerfully.
Lindsay had a very banal sense of style. Everyone would think her style would be extravagant considering the affluence family she came from but she preferred not to use her parent’s riches in non-useful ways. Instead of just taking money from her parents she was sedulous and went to college full time telling her parents she would pay them back as soon as she got out of college and became an interior designer.
The affluent movie corporation , having run out of ideas for a movie, decided to steal and bowdlerize one of Shakesspear's plays. Although the writers for the corporation were sedulous in their rewrite of the play , their script needed alot of emendations.
Their new movie flopped in the box office causing the corporation to go into bedlam , thus ultimately shutting down in the next few months.
Kevin,
Run-on sentence. Rework: Tom was amoral and he was always doing whatever he wanted not what needed to happen and the whole office tried to eschew from him by not telling him about meetings and when everyone would go out.
Good!
One night while the office was out after work Tom walked in and sat down and everyone just tried to ignore him but it was too onerous to be there with him. One of the sedulous workers that always had to stay late to make up for the work Tom didn’t do ebulliently said to Tom “It’s imminent that your going to be fired so why don’t you just leave us alone and go home.” But Tom was too obdurate to leave so he just sat at the bar alone and tried to do parodies of the women that embarrassed him.
Jen was a very obdurate girl; she relied on the affluence of her parents to get what she wanted, but her parents were in a quandary. They had antipathy at the way she acted however they never elucidated it to her. Now that Jen is older they want her to take responsibility and stop relying on them for money.
Mrs. Smith, the banal second grade teacher perused her students’ facetious stories. Most of her kids were sedulous and enjoyed writing, but a few liked to be obdurate and cause a bedlam. The stories included adventitious mistakes on spelling, so Mrs. Smith rectified the errors. Even though Mrs. Smith had to make many emendations, she gloated to her students about their great pieces of writing.
Maria,
See how I changed first sentence from passive to active voice. http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/passive.htm
Lisa trained Rocky, a young and extremely obdurate foal.
Lisa was the trainer who enjoyed the affluence that came when her horses won competitions. She wondered if Rocky had the potential to live up to the panegyric of his father, Gary.
John had a great feeling of antipathy towards Kevin. Although, John was still civil towards Kevin. Kevin was just a banal kid but, his family had affluence. A fight between them was imminent. The school staff saw the conflict betweeen them. As a result, they were both called down to the office to recapitulate their story's.
Val,
Great. Rework third paragraph.
1. I felt a great sense of antipathy toward the famous actor. He was an amoral man with no altruism for others, and he had two children from a previous marriage that he paid no attention to. He was scurrilous toward all the people that worked for him, and it was shameful that someone like him should have so much affluence.
Good.
2. The film was a parody of a motley group of horrible horror movies. It elucidated the mediocre plotlines of the original films, and the screenwriter did a sedulous job of trying to make the audience laugh. An especially funny part was when the witch placed a ridiculous imprecation on one of the characters. It certainly was no banal comedy.
Great!
3. My uncle is a non sequitur (WRONG USAGE). He appears to be a fop, but on closer inspection you realize that what he wears isn’t rakish or fashionable at all. His outfits are a debacle.
aa
Erin thought that her family’s affluence was banal. A lot of people had antipathy towards Erin because she was a boor. She didn’t realize the hatred that people had for her. One day when she was in the mall trying to buy a shirt but forgot her wallet she asked to borrow some money from a friend. The friend responded “We’re not all made of money.”
Briana,
Great. 2 edits. See below.
"This weekend you guys need to peruse and outline chapter 28," my history teacher said as the bell rang and everyone gathered up their books to leave. Everyone in my class started complaining causing bedlam as we all entered the hallway to proceed to our lockers. No one wanted to have homework over the four day weekend but it was imminent because our history teacher never gave anyone a break. He was a boor that never took into consideration the feelings of the students.
The affluent fop had antipathy for banal people. He was born into his wealth and he never worked a day. When the stock market crashed he lost a lot of his money and had to lay a lot of sedulous workers off. After a year of barely staying in business and it was imminent that they were going under and was forced to sell his house and all of his baroque things.
The nosy secretary chose to peruse through her boss's desk one day to see how much money he was making . She found that he was embezzling money from the company , therefore she asked her boss about it. Her nosiness turned out to be an imprecation , for her boss fired her that day.
My brothers new girlfriend came from a family of affluence. The first time she came over to my house I happened to be standing outside as she pulled up. Her family car was far from banal and you could tell her father was a total fop. I ebulliently said, "Hey Kelly" but got only a look of antipathy in return.
Brittanee,
See below.
The teacher tried to elucidate her side of the story to the child's parents but they were amoral. They did not believe their son had used scurrilous language,and they felt it was imperative that the teacher apologize for giving him detention. (The teacher tried to eschew from getting the parents too angry) (WHY? HOW DOES MAKING PARENTS ANGRY LET HER AVOID CONFLICT. EXPLAIN) so she also added that even though he is obdurate, he is also very sedulous. Despite the teachers effort to make the parents understand they began yelling, turning the classroom into complete bedlam.
Laura tried to eschew her ex husband, but when he approached her, she gave him deference and asked him how he has been. The conversation started off as being banal, when suddenly he started bragging about his affluence and how much better off he was without Laura. Laura was shocked by his obdurate comment and she knew they were not meant to be together.
As Mike Lowrey was left with an affluence from his parents because his parents were sucessful in their jobs, he was set for life. With the trust-fund he became a fop. However he still worked as an Miami detective. His partner, Marcus Burnett, was an obdurate and annoying man.As a result they never got anything done. Captain Howard elucidated that they needed to get the drugs back very soon to get the news stations off their backs.
Briana,
Great.
My brother's new girlfriend came from a family of affluence. The first time she came over to my house I happened to be standing outside as she pulled up. Her family car was far from banal and you could tell her father was a total fop. I ebulliently said, "Hey Kelly" but got only a look of antipathy in return.
The baroque outfit caused a scene when the foppish man pranced into the room. The bedlam that ensued only boosted his already over the top ego. He was a man of affluence, so, no one ever said anything negative to him about his obnoxious outfits. Later though, when he wasn't around, they would do parodies of his strutting walk.
My uncle is a facetious manarr. He appears to be a fop, but on closer inspection you realize that what he wears isn’t rakish or fashionable at all. His outfits are a debacle.
George,
Good!
The nosy secretary chose to peruse through her boss's desk one day to see how much money he was making . She found that he was embezzling money from the company; therefore, she asked her boss about it. Her nosiness turned out to be an imprecation , for her boss fired her that day.
Kevin,
See edits below. I used different conjunctions to show connection between ideas.
The affluent fop had antipathy for banal people. He was born into his wealth and he never worked a day. When the stock market crashed he lost a lot of his money and had to lay a lot of sedulous workers off. After a year of barely staying in business, it was imminent that they were going under, so he was forced to sell his house and all of his baroque things.
Carrie had a great antipathy for English class since she cannot elucidate her thoughts very well. When she could rewrite her essays she was very obdurate, unwilling to peruse the whole piece of writing over and over again. Although she wasn't so sedulous, she tried to be ebullient about improving her grade. Realizing she needed to obtain a high grade she made emendations to her essay. Her marking period grade was now imminent to be a C.
Maybe I was over thinking it. She wasn’t some scurrilous, sadistic brute like the majority of the people in our school. In fact, she had always come off as quite the sanguine individual to me. But despite what I knew of her, my obdurate head told me to eschew the whole situation, no matter how much the other part of me wanted to talk to her. So, still wondering if I was saving myself from humiliation, or just running from kindness, I gathered my texts and made a b-line for the door.
Julia,
Erin thought that her family’s affluence was banal. A lot of people had antipathy towards Erin because she was a boor (SHE IS A BOOR WHEN SHE DOESN"T CARE FOR HER OWNWEALTH? NEED EXPLANATION). She didn’t realize the hatred that people had for her. One day when she was in the mall trying to buy a shirt but forgot her wallet she asked to borrow some money from a friend. The friend responded “We’re not all made of money.”
Alice lived off the affluence of her family. She is very obdurate and every word that comes out of her mouth is scurrilous. Her parents see her as onerous and try to stay eshew from her. The denouement of this is that everywhere Alice goes it is imminent that there will be bedlam. Alice has no deference for anyone and seems to have a nebulous idea that everyone likes her.
Zach,
See how edits make pargraph have more logical sense.
Although John was still civil towards Kevin, John had a great feeling of antipathy towards Kevin because Kevin was just a banal kid with affluence. A fight between them was imminent. The school staff saw the conflict betweeen them. As a result, they were both called down to the office to recapitulate their story's.
John had the onerous job of reading the elegy at his brother’s funeral. When he walked in, he eschewed the casket because he couldn’t deal with seeing his brother like that. Once it was his turn John perused the poem to everyone. Although it was very depressing, the denouement of the funeral was good; everyone was proud of John for stepping up and reading the elegy for his brother.
I woke up to the sound of people yelling scurrilously. I went to the window to investigate the bedlam. What I saw did not surprise me; I watched on as my neighbor Dan was yelling at his wife Janet. Janet was a sedulous accountant who worked long hours, only to come home to her drunken husband. Being impaired by the excess alcohol he consumed, his amoral behavior was not unusual. I decided to end his rakish rant by calling the police.
Scary Movie 4 was a funny parody of movies made previous years ago. However, it was an explicit movie. The denouement was tremendous. Everyone loved the movie. Although there were amoral parts to the movie, it was still hilarious. Yet, there was a slim amount of people that thought it was a pedestrian movie.
Cara,
One edit. See below.
Mrs. Smith, the banal second grade teacher, perused her students’ facetious stories. Most of her kids were sedulous and enjoyed writing, but a few liked to be obdurate and cause bedlam. The stories included adventitious mistakes on spelling, so Mrs. Smith rectified the errors. Even though Mrs. Smith had to make many emendations, she gloated to other teachers about her students' great pieces of writing.
Richie elucidated that he didn't like school because he never did homework and was failing almost every class. He was obdurate and never listened to his teachers when they offered him help with an assignment. His friends say that his parents weren't around when he was younger which explains his amoral attitude. His parents were in a quandary when a teacher called home and wanted them to talk to their son about his grades. They didn't know what to do because they weren't used to making rules for him.
She wanted to elucidate her hatred for him. The enormous feeling of antipathy towards him was easy to sense. It was imminent for her to feel that way, especially after his new boor attitude shone through when he even became scurrilous towards her for no reason at all. This new attitude of his became an impediment in their friendship. The cataclysmic event made her feel lonely that she lost a friend, regardless she wanted to talk to him about it.
Samantha,
Good.
Jen was a very obdurate girl; she relied on the affluence of her parents to get what she wanted, but her parents were in a quandary. They had antipathy at the way she acted however they never elucidated it to her. Now that Jen is older they want her to take responsibility and stop relying on them for money.
After school, Jess ran to the bulletin board and perused the sheet of paper that listed who got each part in the play. Everybody thought it was very imminent that Jess was going to get the lead part, but when there was another girls name on the list that nobody recognized, there was a huge quandary. When the door opened, everyone turned to see a rakish new student. It turns out that she got the lead part because she showed up the last tryout and nobody even saw her.
George,
Good.
The affluent movie corporation , having run out of ideas for a movie, decided to steal and bowdlerize one of Shakesspear's plays. Although the writers for the corporation were sedulous in their rewrite of the play , their script needed alot of emendations.
Their new movie flopped in the box office causing the corporation to go into bedlam , thus ultimately shutting down in the next few months.
Brooke,
Good. make sure 'i' are capitalized.
As i tried to elucidate what i was doing this weekend to my mother, she seemed to have an antipathy of my plans. She thought it was very imminent that i was going to get in trouble or do something stupid, event though i am very responsible. My mother always acts like i am very amoral when i never did anything wrong. The denouement of this conversation was that i was not allowed to go to prom weekend and i had to sleep at my grandparents so my mom knew i was safe.
Grace,
Good.
I was over thinking it. She wasn’t some scurrilous, sadistic brute like the majority of the people in our school. In fact, she had always come off as quite the sanguine individual to me. But despite what I knew of her, my obdurate head told me to eschew the whole situation, no matter how much the other part of me wanted to talk to her. So, still wondering if I was saving myself from humiliation, or just running from kindness, I gathered my texts and made a b-line for the door.
Brooke,
Good.
Laura tried to eschew her ex husband, but when he approached her, she gave him deference and asked him how he has been. The conversation started off as being banal, when suddenly he started bragging about his affluence and how much better off he was without Laura. Laura was shocked by his obdurate comment and she knew they were not meant to be together.
Amelia,
Good.
The denouement of the tally was dissapointing to the baseball fans. Their team had been beaten and it was their onerous duty to go congratulate the winning team. They echewed meeting their eyes as the shook their hands and muttered their congratulations. Their demeanor reeked of dissapointment the whole time.
Zach,
Better!
As Mike Lowrey was left with an affluence from his parents because his parents were sucessful in their jobs, he was set for life. With the trust-fund he became a fop. However he still worked as an Miami detective. His partner, Marcus Burnett, was an obdurate and annoying man.As a result they never got anything done. Captain Howard elucidated that they needed to get the drugs back very soon to get the news stations off their backs.
Grace,
Good!
I pondered whether to go talk to her, say hi or something, but we never really talked in school. Really, I doubted she even knew who I was, and I wasn’t all that keen on becoming some parody for her to have a laugh over with her friends later. But it was evident that eventually she’d see me, and most likely recognize me and say something. It was imminent that she’d say something whether I approached her or not. So I was in a quandary, what would I say if she said something to me? And the only denouement I could see occurring if I didn’t leave and avoid the situation ended with me in total chagrin.
Ruoff,
Good!
Lindsay had a very banal sense of style. Everyone would think her style would be extravagant considering the affluence family she came from but she preferred not to use her parent’s riches in non-useful ways. Instead of just taking money from her parents she was sedulous and went to college full time telling her parents she would pay them back as soon as she got out of college and became an interior designer.
Good!
The baroque outfit caused a scene when the foppish man pranced into the room. The bedlam that ensued only boosted his already over the top ego. He was a man of affluence, so, no one ever said anything negative to him about his obnoxious outfits. Later though, when he wasn't around, they would do parodies of his strutting walk.
Val,
Good.
My uncle is a facetious man. He appears to be a fop, but on closer inspection you realize that what he wears isn’t rakish or fashionable at all. His outfits are a debacle.
Samantha,
Good.
John had the onerous job of reading the elegy at his brother’s funeral. When he walked in, he eschewed the casket because he couldn’t deal with seeing his brother like that. Once it was his turn John perused the poem to everyone. Although it was very depressing, the denouement of the funeral was good; everyone was proud of John for stepping up and reading the elegy for his brother.
Maria,
Good!
I woke up to the sound of people yelling scurrilously. I went to the window to investigate the bedlam. What I saw did not surprise me; I watched on as my neighbor Dan was yelling at his wife Janet. Janet was a sedulous accountant who worked long hours, only to come home to her drunken husband. Being impaired by the excess alcohol he consumed, his amoral behavior was not unusual. I decided to end his rakish rant by calling the police.
Zach,
Good.
Scary Movie 4 was a funny parody of movies made previous years ago. However, it was an explicit movie. The denouement was tremendous. Everyone loved the movie. Although there were amoral parts to the movie, it was still hilarious. Yet, there was a slim amount of people that thought it was a pedestrian movie.
Briana,
Good.
Richie elucidated that he didn't like school because he never did homework and was failing almost every class. He was obdurate and never listened to his teachers when they offered him help with an assignment. His friends say that his parents weren't around when he was younger which explains his amoral attitude. His parents were in a quandary when a teacher called home and wanted them to talk to their son about his grades. They didn't know what to do because they weren't used to making rules for him.
Becca,
Need revision to make logical sense. unclear. First, give names to make it easier to understand. Secondly, is the guy always rude, or did he do somthing in particular to anger girl. Unclear.
She wanted to elucidate her hatred for him. The enormous feeling of antipathy towards him was easy to sense. It was imminent for her to feel that way, especially after his new boor attitude shone through when he even became scurrilous towards her for no reason at all. This new attitude of his became an impediment in their friendship. The cataclysmic event made her feel lonely that she lost a friend, regardless she wanted to talk to him about it.
Brooke,
Good!
After school, Jess ran to the bulletin board and perused the sheet of paper that listed who got each part in the play. Everybody thought it was very imminent that Jess was going to get the lead part, but when there was another girl's name on the list that nobody recognized, there was a huge quandary. When the door opened, everyone turned to see a rakish new student. It turns out that she got the lead part because she showed up the last tryout and nobody even saw her.
1. Because of my antipathy for Deborah, we rarely spoke. She found me to be incredibly banal and beneath her; she thinks it's funny to enact scurrilous parodies of me behind my back. I would often elucidate to her that she was stuck up. The last time I tried to have a pleasant conversation with her was a complete debacle and ended in complete bedlam.
It was imminent to everyone that Alice was flunking out. She had recently began to eschew her schoolwork, due to her newly adapted amoral attitude. She wouldn't take the time needed to peruse her school assignments, opting instead to breeze through them then go hang out with with a new scurrilous group of friends. Her demeanor had become atrocious, the denouement of this being rather horrible grades in school.
Mike is a banal man living in an ordinary house in an ordinary town. Although his town was ordinary he has a neighbor that causes sheer bedlam every night by throwing parties and playing loud music.
This caused mike to acquire an antipathy toward his neighbor. Mike tells everyone about his hatred toward his neighbor that shows no altruism for anyone but himself.
Ryan's father was the owner of a big business and was a very sedulous man. His death was due to cancer that had besieged his entire body.Ryan is going to inherit affluence from his rich father. Although Ryan is inheriting a great deal of money from his father it was a very onerous death for him.
My younger siblings, who were all amoral, drew all over my bedroom walls with markers. I knew this was imminent because of the five children under the age of 6 in my house. I wanted the denouement of a punishment for all of them but my mother says they are too young to punish. God bless my effete mother that must put up with the children all day every day.
Brian was a fop. He was struggling to eschew from the stores new fall collection because he lacked affluence. He glanced at the diaphanous silk shirts. Suddenly colorful magnificant hat caught his eye. He knew the hat was just a bauble, yet it was very cheap. The final denouement was that he purchased the hat.
Ginny,
Great!
Because of my antipathy for Deborah, we rarely spoke. She found me to be incredibly banal and beneath her; she thinks it's funny to enact scurrilous parodies of me behind my back. I would often elucidate to her that she was stuck up. The last time I tried to have a pleasant conversation with her was a complete debacle and ended in complete bedlam.
Ginny,
Made few revisions. See below.
It was imminent that Alice would receive horrible grades in school this term. She had recently began to eschew her schoolwork, due to her newly adapted amoral attitude. She wouldn't take the time needed to peruse her school assignments, opting instead to breeze through them then go hang out with with a new scurrilous group of friends. Her demeanor had become atrocious; the denouement of this being she will flunk out.
Ryan,
Good!
Mike is a banal man living in an ordinary house in an ordinary town. Although his town was ordinary he has a neighbor that causes sheer bedlam every night by throwing parties and playing loud music.
This caused mike to acquire an antipathy toward his neighbor. Mike tells everyone about his hatred toward his neighbor that shows no altruism for anyone but himself.
Ryan,
Good. One edit. See below.
Ryan's father was the owner of a big business and was a very sedulous man. He dies from cancer that had besieged his entire body.Ryan is going to inherit affluence from his rich father. Although Ryan is inheriting a great deal of money from his father it was a very onerous death for him.
Ryan,
Good. One edit (explaining what "this" is). See below.
My younger siblings, who were all amoral, drew all over my bedroom walls with markers. I knew bad behavior was imminent because of the five children under the age of 6 in my house. I wanted the denouement of a punishment for all of them but my mother says they are too young to punish. God bless my effete mother that must put up with the children all day every day.
Julia,
Good!
Brian was a fop. He was struggling to eschew from the stores new fall collection because he lacked affluence. He glanced at the diaphanous silk shirts. Suddenly a colorful magnificant hat caught his eye. He knew the hat was just a bauble, yet it was very cheap. The final denouement was that he purchased the hat.
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